Becoming

How I love being a man -

not because it is easy,

but because it asks everything of me.

God did not design me for comfort;

He designed me for becoming.

For pressure that refines.

For storms that do not warn before arriving.

I am not just flesh and bone,

I am withheld tears,

unfinished prayers,

unsent messages,

and dreams highlighted under dim light

while the world sleeps.

They see preparation.

They don’t see the doubt.

They see composure.

They don’t see the nights

I questioned my worth in silence.

I have loved -

not recklessly,

but reverently.

The kind of love that changes you

even if it doesn’t stay.

Her silence once echoed louder

than any failure.

But I did not collapse.

I converted ache into discipline,

longing into focus,

heartbreak into hunger.

Because being a man, to me,

is not chasing what leaves -

it is building what remains.

I have buried parts of myself

so others could feel safe.

Swallowed words

so peace could survive.

Studied through emotional earthquakes.

Smiled through invisible wars.

I am not loud strength.

I am controlled fire.

Not dominance -

but direction.

Not ego -

but earned self-respect.

I protect without possession.

I desire without desperation.

I endure without announcement.

If I fall, I rise quieter.

If I break, I rebuild stronger.

If I love, I love without losing my spine.

One day, when my name is spoken with respect,

they will see success -

but I will remember

the lonely desk,

the unanswered texts,

the trembling faith,

the battles no one applauded.

How I love being a man -

a quiet storm,

a patient warrior,

a heart scarred yet honorable,

ambitious yet tender,

alone at times,

but never abandoned by purpose.

I am not becoming for applause.

I am becoming because I must.

And that -

is my divinity.

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© Abhishek Pathak